In May 2021, I found myself at a mandatory service camp in Cross River State, Nigeria. It was supposed to last three weeks, and I had braced myself for the worst. Yet, those weeks transformed into some of the most unforgettable moments of my life. It was there that I met her — a tall, light-skinned, and soft-spoken woman. Usually, light-skinned women didn't catch my attention for reasons I couldn't quite explain, but she was different.
I first noticed her during the parade. We were both among those who couldn't march properly, so we were made to stand awkwardly on the sidelines. Despite our lack of coordination, she stood out to me. Her beauty was undeniable, enhanced by the delicate piercings on her nose and the intricate henna patterns on her hands. She wore a white scarf, signaling her Muslim faith, and her smile was the prettiest I'd ever seen. As a devoted Christian, I found myself hoping she would notice me, too.
The parade ended in less than an hour, and I saw my chance to approach her. But as I got closer, I realized I wasn't the only one drawn to her charm. A group of guys, likely fellow Muslims, seemed keen to accompany her to the mosque. It was clear she wasn't just beautiful to me; she had caught the eye of many.
Sitting just ten steps away from the mosque, I Googled the statistics on interfaith relationships in Nigeria. Honestly, if you'd asked, I couldn't have explained what i was doing or why I was there. My fascination with this woman was intense, a feeling that was both indescribable and unprecedented. All I wanted was for her to meet me, to know who I was. It felt pertinent that she knew me.
Time seemed to stretch on endlessly as I waited for her to emerge from the mosque. I hoped she would be alone, giving me the perfect opening. However, she didn't appear, and feeling somewhat defeated, I decided to grab dinner instead. In the camp, I had my usual spot where I ate. Sitting there, anticipating my order of Afang soup, I briefly glanced away from my phone and there she was, in the neighbouring shop.
Almost mechanically, I stood up and walked towards her. With each step closer, my heart raced faster, and the butterflies in my stomach went wilder. Suddenly, I was standing right behind her. She turned around, and our eyes met. In that moment, I wanted to tell her everything, even though I wasn't quite sure what ‘everything.’ Quickly, I pretended to need something from the same store.
In the middle of buying a shawarma I didn’t even want, I noticed her card wasn’t going through. Seizing the opportunity, I offered to pay for her, suggesting she could reimburse me whenever she could. I took the opportunity to introduce myself, and she told me her name was Maeena. For the first time, I told a woman that her name was beautiful and genuinely meant it. After I paid for her, she could have left, but she chose to wait for me instead. In the back of my mind, I interpreted this as a sign she might be interested in me. We found a spot to sit and began eating in silence.
After a while, she thanked me again for my help and promised to repay me as soon as she could. I sat there, captivated by her, nodding along to her words while trying not to show how utterly lost I was in her presence. She continued talking, and all I wanted was to be there, right next to her, existing in that moment.
Soon, the alarm for lights out sounded, and I walked her back to her room. I told her how wonderful it was to meet her, and she promised to find me the next day to repay me. I'm usually not one to be at a loss for words, but in that moment, I was overwhelmed by my admiration for her. I wanted to tell her that I'd sleep well that night, knowing she had spoken to me and that I'd wake up eager to hear her voice again.
There is something so urgent about lust. It's like a demanding force that takes over your entire being, shaping your thoughts and actions through its lens. I found myself wanting Maeena intensely, and I wasn't sure if it was because we were both in the camp together or because she truly was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. The camp atmosphere began to feel like an episode of Big Brother Naija, where men and women placed together inevitably start developing feelings for each other.
The next day, I found myself constantly on the lookout for her, hoping she would want to see me, too. Part of me knew I should be cautious, as this was tricky territory but to hell with that. After lunch that day, our eyes met. We shared a smile, the kind that silently communicates an understanding that we couldn't just be friends. From that moment, we did everything together. It was as if we were drawn to each other, unable to resist the connection that was forming between us. When you're confined in a space with a beautiful woman, especially one whose eyes also reveal a longing for you, it's hard not to fall for her. Being desired feels amazing.
In the camp, there was a cafeteria mainly used by the Hausa Muslims, and I found myself there often because of her. Maeena was strikingly beautiful, a standout in any room. Standing beside her, I began to standout too. As a light-skinned man among predominantly dark-skinned northerners, I stood out, and it was evident that I wasn’t one of them. I could sense people talking about me in their language – it’s easy to tell when you're the subject of conversation, even if you don't understand the words.
Maeena noticed my discomfort. I would suggest moving to a place where I felt more at ease, but she would pull me closer, offering me a taste of her food or drink, asking for my opinion. Maybe she was trying to ease my fears or perhaps she was masking her own. Regardless, I would taste it and give my honest opinion. Many of their local dishes weren't to my liking, but I never expressed disdain. She seemed to enjoy having me by her side, and I certainly liked being next to her. Her presence made every awkward moment worth enduring.
That evening, after the day's activities, I walked Maeena to the front of her hostel. We talked for a while, and then she moved closer, whispering that she would hug me but that it would mean too much. We exchanged goodnights, yet neither of us seemed ready to leave. There was this unspoken understanding between us, a mutual desire hanging in the air. Suddenly, she asked me not to kiss her, fearing it would ruin her life. She explained it was easier to want something and not have it, than to have it once and lose it forever. As I started to walk away, she pulled me back and kissed me. There’s an exhilarating rush in forbidden love.
Back in my room, my thoughts kept returning to how an attractive woman can make a grown man feel utterly ordinary. I wondered if she was drawn to me because I represented a world different from hers or if it was for the genuine, unexplainable reasons that love thrives on. Regardless, I was elated to be the one she chose to risk her beliefs for. During one of the final parties at the camp, Maeena danced while I sat there with a glass of some drink, simply watching her. It was fascinating to see her try to dance without moving her hips too much, adhering to her modesty. Every time she moved, a part of her scarf would slip slightly, revealing some of her hair. I found myself wondering if she was aware of it or if she cared at all. You can't help but feel special when someone lets go of their inhibitions around you.
She was like a mystery unfolding before me, and each little revelation drew me in further. That night was the last time I saw Maenna but her image is permanently etched in the back of my mind. It may have saved my life.